A blog about motherhood, feminism, stillbirth, atheism, academia, and maybe just a little bit of politics. Monday, November 19, 2012. Wednesday, December 16, 2009. All I want for Christmas is you. I like to think I can sing. I sing it, and it just chokes me up. There is just no preparing for these waves of sadness. Life goes on, and I hate life for that.

An empty chair at our table. And so we gave up entirely on having a living second child. But now a surrogate Mum is pregnant with our daughter and soon we will be going to America to bring her home. Wednesday, 2 November 2011. Monday, 24 October 2011. Thursday, 20 October 2011. Tuesday, 11 October 2011.

Trying to cope in a healthy manner. Monday, February 24, 2014. I had to do password recovery to get into here. Not only that, but I became so confused because Google seems bound and determined to link up each of my emails. Saturday, August 4, 2012.

And I have to remind myself to smile. An insanity cocktail on the rocks with a chaotic twist, Order a large side of humor and welcome to my life. In the beginning there were hot dogs. My Own Brand of Crazy. We did put him in daycare 2 days a week at a friends house.

Thursday, September 4, 2008. Tuesday, May 6, 2008.

I will NOT scribble on the children. Out, out brief candle. Posted by bon under coping stuff. That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,. And then is heard no more. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,. Act 5, Scene 5. It is only a website and if i am not here it is not the end of the world. I look around and wonder if i am my own set of ants.

In January of 2005, my son C. These are the 8 million pieces of my life, as I pick them up,one by one. And now, featuring the addition of our second beautiful child, BB and his lovely sister E. Saturday, October 02, 2010. Well, friends, I suppose it is time to acknowledge what is happening here. Or should I say, what is not happening here. Then I started to write here, and I made a place for me.

No shirt, no shoes, no Elvis. Friday, October 23, 2009. But wistfulness feels more useful poured into fiction. On the Bill, with highlights.

July 29, 2016 by janistan. The girls want to arrange all the cranes into some form or shape. So I may take another photo later today, after we are done folding for the last time. Nine things I learned since July 29, 2007. Some days feel so light, as if a storm never ever descended. And then the heavy hands of grief come and grab you, from behind, right on the thro.