Saturday, November 19, 2005. I look into the distance. Through the mist, over a sea of fire, I see him crossing the meadow. He is walking toward me with an effortless, masculine grace, and the outline of his shoulders against the morning light brings a familiar lump to my throat. Is he the god of the sunrise, this blinding, bold, unearthly man? Or is this a vision of Adam, newly woken and wishing for warmth? Oh please, hold me again this morning! Good morning, he says and smiles.

Monday, January 10, 2005. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. I am already clean! I am clean and open like the stars. Who was that twisted girl who sludged along never looking up? I walk in white, and all my spaces are brightly lit. Nothing is old in me. I dazzle the ground with my feet. I dazzle the air with my breath. I am freedom in a shining skin. Not even my cells are trapped. I am clean like a crisp horizon.

Monday, January 10, 2005. My sister, my bride - Focused on you, I wait like a hungry child for your uplifted eyes. And when you turn and meet my gaze, I am fed. I am enthroned here in paradise, but you are my reward. Nothing makes sense not even heaven - without you reaching for me.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005. He is the famous one. He is the one seen, applauded, memorized. I am a friend at the table. He does not live to get me into heaven. I live to stimulate his eternity.

Sunday, January 09, 2005. Three Men and My Darling. I am dreaming, and in my dream I see three young men sitting around a small table in a large room talking about me. I can only hear fragments of their conversation, but I know somehow I know - that I am the Cherie they are talking about so intently.

Sunday, February 06, 2005. The great lesson life is trying to teach us is Desire. We were meant to want. That is why it is so easy to do. We are born desperate for breath, and we die the same way. Every moment in between, we live wanting something, at least we should. Nothing else is as vital as desire, for if we do not learn to desire, and desire deeply, we will never seek God. That is why God does not worry about the addict. The addict is well on his way to salvation. Want more, much more.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005. It is late, but there is a light flickering in her window. It looks like an invitation, and the Holy Spirit smiles and trembles. The simple symbolism of the flame pushing back the darkness moves him, and for a moment he waits and watches the light. I have no name for what you mean to me,. My blood, my breath, my Self, my progeny. To see you loved as you deserve to be. I name you Jesus, and t.