I returned from the depths of the sea. Like a dog, I shook off. And all at once I felt happy. To step back onto land. And utterly of the earth. Against my eyes and my navel. To get me to talk with them. As if I were already dead,. As if I were a common. That insisted on walking in the world. I was about to jump. Into the ocean once again. The story of my life repeats itself.

Saturday, August 25, 2012. I will be good; I will be good. I have set my small jaw for the ages. And nothing can distract me from. Even with my small brain. 8212; witness the diameter of my hat band. And the depth of the crown of my hat. I will be correct; I know what it is to be a man. I will be correct or bust. I will love but not impose my feelings. I will serve and serve. With lute or I will not say anything.

Monday, November 7, 2011. Trying to find a Solution. They haunt me in my sleep.

I fear its very wrong of me. And yet I must admit. I want the whole of it. To share my friends with me. At least, I want one special one. Likes me much more than all the rest. Who never cares what others say. Who lets me come and hide. Within his shadow, in his house-. Who lets me simply be myself.

Ach du mein lieber Wein. Fein sollst du mir heute sein. Sollst erlösen mich vor Qual. Meiner Pein und meiner Scham. Erlöse mich von der Einsamkeit. Geh mit mir ein in Zweisamkeit. Erlöse mich von diesem Sein. Von all dem Trug und diesem Schein. Ich glaub dir heute deine Lügen. Will einfach nichts mehr fühlen.