Smashing a window as I broke into the base, no training for this blood painted walls, their guts gorily distended before me, two dead gunmen lay in one corner, sickened, but fire fast breaking. Out and ransacking a nearby desk, I stuffed fistfuls of papers into pockets and pouches. As another blast smacked the building, throwing up dense clouds of dust mingling with thick black smoke belching from the inferno. Fierce heat from the blaze decided me to exit. Why do you ask that? .

Welcome to the Mossad! Blond, aged say 50, wearing gold-rimmed spectacles; chinos and casual open-neck shirt made him seem almost cuddly. Inviting me to join him, he led us into a conference hall and feeling awkward, once seated, I tried hard to relax. As the minders took positions nearby, I murmured. I feel very privileged to be here. Every three months, he revealed that I must ta.

Doing my best to put it behind me, the only battles I had nowadays were arguments about football with Dad.

Three hours later, I had done well to hang on for so long. Breaking down in the probation office, my resolve expired. Wanting to help, Nick genuine, I could tell, great to be back among the good guys. Thirtysomething, plain and married, futile I know, but I needed someone steady like him. Then it had made me happy. Next day, no money, I had to claim benefit. I felt awful asking .