An empty chair at our table. And so we gave up entirely on having a living second child. But now a surrogate Mum is pregnant with our daughter and soon we will be going to America to bring her home. Wednesday, 2 November 2011. Monday, 24 October 2011. Thursday, 20 October 2011. Tuesday, 11 October 2011.

Trying to cope in a healthy manner. Monday, February 24, 2014. I had to do password recovery to get into here. Not only that, but I became so confused because Google seems bound and determined to link up each of my emails. Saturday, August 4, 2012.

June 26, 2012 in Uncategorized. May 4, 2012 in Uncategorized. Woke up to a tiny laughing face. February 25, 2012 in sleep. On the counter and the stove as I slip in the leftovers, it is the clanging crazy of a dumptruck or ancient elevator. He sleeps on, though, somehow. Just like right now, with Phish on at a good volume, he swings in the swing. Oh shit, abrupt stop to music! February 23, 2012 in baby.

From endometriosis to IVF to parenthood. Wednesday, April 23, 2014. And then years went by. Thursday, July 23, 2009. I won the Plain White Box. Tuesday, July 14, 2009. So, first, I a.

July 29, 2016 by janistan. The girls want to arrange all the cranes into some form or shape. So I may take another photo later today, after we are done folding for the last time. Nine things I learned since July 29, 2007. Some days feel so light, as if a storm never ever descended. And then the heavy hands of grief come and grab you, from behind, right on the thro.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014. Blowing Off the Dust . However, today something happened that reignited that fire - even if for only a brief moment. Kate and Mommy Enjoy Morning Snuggles. Wednesday, September 11, 2013. I know I have fall.

Navigating my way through infant loss of twins, grief, finding a new normal and discovering hope for a brighter tomorrow through domestic infant adoption. Wow, what a difference a year makes.

Looking beyond our anno di consolation. My opt-out manifesto, of sorts, part 1. I love writing and having my work read. I want a wider audience than I could possibly get as an academic historian.

Trying to adjust to life without my son. Wednesday, October 15, 2014. For all the parents missing their children and for all the babies who are missed. And especially my boy, Reid. Tuesday, April 15, 2014. These actually arrived before the 3rd, via a trip to the grocery store. Hopefully I will get to have red daisies for the whole month of April.

Old dog, meet new trick. Miscarriage is not for wimps. I thought that I was a wimp, but then I taught four 75-minute classes yesterday, came home, cooked dinner, played with Dot, and only cried for about 5 minutes in the bathroom. This morning, I led a work meeting and cancelled my ultrasound appointment. Pregnant, but only sort of. My inner bitch is a She-Hulk.